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During the next 24 hrs we
did a shamanic journey meditation calling in a power animal to guide us for the
next cycle of our Path. I have had power animals join my life path before, so
this wasn’t a new practice and it was to invite the energies of what I need now.
In the vision, a Deer came to me. At first I was like “a deer?”, kinda wishing
for something sleek and cool like a panther. As I contemplated the deer energies, I felt alertness, swift
graceful power. I remembered the murghi mudra taught to me by my philosophy
teacher. It is a story about the celestial beings that take form as deer to
enjoy each other in intimacy and love. Intimacy is where art, love and learning
take place. The mudra stands for sweetness of the conversation of teacher and
student. It is a beautiful hand mudra of the kissing deer, to remember the love
and honor between teacher and student. I love and miss that teacher and feel
grateful for him, I feel grateful for all my teachers. 
Deer has been teaching
me about powerful authenticity inside and a sweet, mercurial gentle grace on
the outside. There are stories and myth how Goddesses embody as deer, and highly
sensitive, deer can perceive subtleties even in the dark. She is about the
power of gentleness, grace and love. My intention is to embody and learn from
the energies of deer as I move forward through this time of change and
awakening we are all moving through.
It has been so long since I’ve felt motivated or inspired to
blog. Even journaling has been all over the place since the Anusara
melt down. It seems like yesterday and a few lifetimes ago that we were all
flitting around the planet coming together growing a dream and vision of
‘Goodness’ to change the world for the better. It will take a few more
yesterdays and lifetimes to totally comprehend the complexities of what
happened and why. There are as many perspectives on it as there are different people
with opinions.
This past spring equinox I participated in a significant
sweat lodge in Costa Rica with some very powerful teachers on the planet. The
energy was so potent when I left the inipi (sweat lodge, or 'womb’) I truly felt
re-birthed. It was then I decided to reclaim my birth name, Benita, ‘Blessed’.
During the next 24 hrs we
did a shamanic journey meditation calling in a power animal to guide us for the
next cycle of our Path. I have had power animals join my life path before, so
this wasn’t a new practice and it was to invite the energies of what I need now.
In the vision, a Deer came to me. At first I was like “a deer?”, kinda wishing
for something sleek and cool like a panther. As I contemplated the deer energies, I felt alertness, swift
graceful power. I remembered the murghi mudra taught to me by my philosophy
teacher. It is a story about the celestial beings that take form as deer to
enjoy each other in intimacy and love. Intimacy is where art, love and learning
take place. The mudra stands for sweetness of the conversation of teacher and
student. It is a beautiful hand mudra of the kissing deer, to remember the love
and honor between teacher and student. I love and miss that teacher and feel
grateful for him, I feel grateful for all my teachers. 
About a month later, I woke up and noticed a little spider
bite on my leg. It was a little irritating, itchy and I did my best to ignore
it and not scratch. Within a couple of days it got red and angry, my beloveds
urging me to go get antibiotics. I only had one day to get ready for a three-week
teaching trip and going to urgent care seemed like a waste of time, besides, I
do homeopathic and naturopathic care anyway. I had grapefruit seed extract, tea
tree oil, all of the natural remedies you can think of. To make a long story
short, the bite was horrible, with a fever and gaping infection. 24 hrs later I
ended up on antibiotics in Argentina (the 2nd time I’ve taken them
in over 25 yrs). The bite was from a brown recluse, and the muscle on my thigh
was affected, and the skin and tissue died creating a huge hole silver dollar
sized and very deep. Somehow I was able to teach and practice anyway.
As I was
contemplating the bite and life, I realized the bite was ‘spider’ medicine, a
call to consciously and creatively step into weaving a web of love and light
for awakening on the planet. With the practice of bhavana, (contemplation,
being with an experience or feeling) the spider reminds me about the infinite
nature and interconnectedness of all life, I am the weaver of my own life.
The relationships
we engage in are woven networks of love that touch everyone, threads of connection the delicate
spider can move back and forth across with love and gentle strength. OR, the
webs we weave create patterns that can be webs of entanglement, sticky and
harmful. The spider represents feminine mother or grandmother energy,
creativity, writing and communication and She is calling me.
Sitting on the threshold of high summer before the sun
begins to wane and the dawn of the Super Honey moon, as I reflect over the past couple
of years, I remember. The teachings of non-dual Tantra offer, everything and
anything can be an opportunity for recognition and expansion of consciousness,
gateways to awaken to our Divine nature. I’ve learned that the love transcends all
the petty bickering and earthly stuff. I’ve studied with a few of my friends, ex-Certified
Anusara teachers over the last year, and they are all still as excellent as before,
evolving their individual expressions of the teachings that wove our hearts
together into something they can name their own. I see my friends shifting and
risking, finding their new path, opening spaces to share the love of yoga,
creating programs and offerings. I love them and I truly feel joy for their
great beauty, service and success.
My vision going forward on this full moon night carries
the energy of the spider, a weaver of the web, a web of love, grace and yoga.
As a spider weaver I walk the matrix with grace and ease. Holding the energy of
the deer with her gentle watchfulness, attuned to her environment and subtle
movements around her, I hold the murghi mudra in my heart, the symbol of the
kissing deer, love and honor for my teachers’ grace, and love and honor for the
grace of my students.
Tonight
as the moon rises over the Rockies, I will envision the Web, a global
community collaboratively woven with gentle power, grace and Love.
Blessings to all under the abundance reflected as sweet luminous light
of this Honey Super Moon.
"Envision the best expression of yourself, and then be your vision." - Benita
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